Recently, I met with a senior director of product marketing at a Fortune 500 company. Like many other leaders I work with, they wanted to uplevel their executive presence.
I said: “Influencing skills and, specifically, executive presence are the number one skills leaders ask to work on. Executive presence is hard to define, though. Tell me about someone you work with who’s mastered executive presence?”
They said: “Oh gosh, thinking of a skip level’s peers. They’re super smooth.”
I asked: “Ok, what are they actually doing that’s smooth?”
They said: “People look up when they walk in the room and pay lots of attention when they’re on a Zoom call. They have a calmness but lots of energy, too. It’s like a good combination.”
I said: “Yep, that’s definitely a hallmark: this balance of calm and energy.”
They said: “There’s also a clarity, too. I just believe what they say to be true. Or maybe it’s a POV or decision I would want to follow.”
I smiled: “Yes, for sure. I call that gravitas. When leaders make clear and interesting declarations, people are energized. The best leaders balance GRAVITAS + GRACE to change hearts and minds. Yet, it’s not just about making declarative statements, being graceful under pressure, or having out-of-this-world charisma. It’s the BALANCE.”
They said: “Ok, I like that — short and sweet: ‘gravitas + grace.’”
I smiled: “Yes, easy to remind yourself. It’s an example of declaration, by the way. 😊 So, let’s apply this to you. How would you rate yourself on gravitas, grace, and the BALANCE of them? 1-10 on each.”
They said: “I would say, 4 on gravitas, 8 on grace, and hey, 6 on the balance.”
I said: “That’s fair. Let’s focus on gravitas. What would you say your strong points are?”
They said: “I think I have a strong POV on product fit for this company, and I am able to talk with my boss about it regularly and with lots of enthusiasm.
When I get with my peers, though, I tend to lay back more.”
I said: “What’s stopping you from being more declarative when you’re with your peers?”
They said: “I don’t want to be all blustering like some of the people in the room.”
I said: “Ok, so here’s where the balance comes into play. You don’t have to be blustering or interrupting. Declare your POV early with an invitation.”
They said: “How about an example?”
I said: “Ok, ‘I like what I am hearing, and here’s another POV on the product direction I invite you to look at.’ Or ‘Have we considered this POV? Here’s the key data on that.’”
They said: “Ok, I see how I can still be declarative and advocate my POV, but do it in a way that’s more inviting.”
I nodded: “Yes, and smiling helps, too.”
They got it: “Gonna go try it.”
How do YOU best balance gravitas + grace?
