Category: Recommended Reading

Read the latest articles and book reviews from Mariposa and shared from other sources of interest.

Let’s Leave the Armor Off, for Good

A personal perspective on leading differently in the next pandemic transition

We have choices as we emerge from the pandemic: We can go back to what now seems like an unsustainable pre-Covid frenetic pace, or we can use this next pandemic transition phase to start afresh, to have different kinds of conversations with our teams (and ourselves). What’s at stake is our well-being, actually. The pandemic has taken its toll on us (collectively and individually), and we are still in the midst of having to weather a storm unlike any other in our lifetimes.

So, let us admit that we are more fragile now; that we need to be more patient with each other; and that we need to be more mindful about truly understanding each other and not leave it to happenstance or the occasional meetup.

This next pandemic transition is an opportunity for leaders to be real: We can focus on bringing our full selves to work and breathe a sigh of relief that we don’t have to put on the armor anymore.

It’s an opportunity to care for each other in ways we really didn’t have to in the “Before.” We can deepen connections with our team members, focus on staying flexible and open amidst constant (and continued) uncertainty, and model self-care to keep ourselves and our teams resilient.

CONNECT. FLEX. CARE. Hopefully, you can hang your hat on these, and put that armor in the junk pile.

ONE: Stay close and stay connected.

Most likely your company is sticking to a remote-only WFA (work-from-anywhere) model OR a hybrid model with some over-arching RTO (return-to-office) policies. Whichever work model your company has or is adopting, it’s vital to stay close and connected to your team members in some way, every day. Closeness comes in various forms and builds the trust needed as we enter this transitional and uncertain hybrid phase. With the daunting amount of Zoom calls endured over the past 18 months, we have glanced into our work colleague’s living rooms, kitchens, and makeshift offices in bedrooms and closets; and we have chuckled with each dog and child passer-by. We have also experimented with a myriad of coffee-, drink-, game-, knitting-, movie-, you-name-it affinity-group meet-ups. These glimpses and Zoom micro-meetings have brought us a bit closer and allowed us to stay connected to our work colleagues. And so-called work-life balance has become more like work-life intertwine. Yes, we have struggled with boundaries, but we have also opened up in ways we haven’t before. What are some ways we can continue to open up, to deepen closeness and connection? Here are some ideas to try out, drawn from my own experiences with running a 13-person team of coaches and listening to many leaders tell me their stories. One, encourage others to share thoughts and feelings in 1-1s and team meetings. This flows better if you: a) create a safe space with thoughtful questions, and b) model your own vulnerability and share what’s happening for you. Here are two examples:

Do consistent check-ins at the top of team meetings. We don’t mean just a “how’s-everyone-doing-today” check-in. We have found with our team — and in listening to our clients talk about what works with their teams — having an initial 3-5 minutes to banter is important; then asking one specific question that allows people to be themselves and learn about each other works well. Questions like:
- What is one thing you overcame this week that surprised you?
- What activity did you do with a friend or family member that gave you joy?
- What skill are you working on outside of work that you kicked ass on?
- What movie or show did you watch that you adored?
- What conversation did you have with a colleague that gave you the support you didn’t even know you needed?

Have lunch, coffee, drinks in-person, outside whether you’re WFA or RTO. Perhaps you will discover some new places near the office, renew ties with old haunts, and/or meet up with a team member at a halfway point between your homes. And decide if it’s feasible to travel to see team members (if WFA) or bring them to headquarters. All of these ideas take time and there is nothing scalable about it. On purpose. The presence you share will go a long way. And it sure beats emailing an Uber-Eats gift card.

Two, coaching your team members regularly is also a way to stay close and stay connected. For example:

Put more attention on in-the-moment coaching. Linger after Zoom group meetings by picking up the phone with a team member or use Slack to continue a conversation; or, if you’re in the office, walk team members to their next meeting. These in-between moments are not only ripe for learning and problem-solving, but also demonstrate you’re going the extra mile for your team members.

Listen for the “hard stuff.” By giving your team members more opportunities to be themselves and talk about what’s going on for them, people will inevitably bring up hard things. Like, someone might express grief over the death of a loved one from Covid; or express overwhelm with balancing kids and work; or express fears about coming into the office. Just listening and acknowledging people’s pain may be all they need; yet in some cases, a person may need much more support — from inside or outside the company. You might suggest that they chat with HR and/or Employee Assistance. Perhaps they have their own coach or therapist; check in with them about that, and if not, suggest it.

TWO: Stay flexible, open, and experiment.

(Especially if your company is doing an RTO hybrid.) I have written previously about the importance of a leader thinking like a designer. Staying flexible and experimenting — central tenets of design thinking — is going to come in handy here in this next pandemic transition phase. Back in March 2020, we all went out of the office together, and as tech leaders and employees, you were mostly in the same boat as far as being disadvantaged or advantaged (depending on your perspective) by working from home. Not the case now. The RTO hybrid is about to be different-day-different-company-different-boat. This is concerning for many reasons, mostly because things and people will get lost in the shuffle. Unfortunately, this is a perfect storm for even more exclusion and lack of continuity. Yet, there are things you can control and design for.

One, do a mindset re-set: Prepare yourself for even more uncertainty. (“Oh god,” you’re whispering under your breath right now). If you expect that things (i.e., outside-the-company forces, inside-the-company policies), will be in constant motion, then when you hear about (yet again), another shift in mask-wearing, or that you can’t get monitors for your new hoteling desks because the supply chain is four months behind, or that the facilities app that determines who is in-the-office-what-days completely gets f**ked up, then you could say to yourself, “It’s ok, we are expecting these snafus to happen…this isn’t a surprise.” We know this is easier said than done. But this is the point. With prototyping new work models and any new apps/tools/platforms, etc., there will be failures. Fail fast, get the feedback, and try a different way.

Two, in the midst of the grandest prototyping experiment ever, it’s important to check your anxiety along the way. Your anxiety level very much will determine how much uncertainty you can handle. Part of being flexible means being calm in the midst of a big, fat mess. What can you do to be more patient, overall, and catch yourself when things aren’t going the way you want them to, or the way they should be going? We know meditation and breathing helps. We know that people who meditate regularly (sitting for as little as 10 minutes a day) will be able to access the calmness they experience when they meditate when the going gets tough at the office, at home, or in-between (because we know that commuting on those freeways again is really going to suck).

Three, another aspect of being flexible is the discernment you model when dealing with the myriad of new circumstances-turned-dilemmas that are already popping up in the RTO hybrid. From our vantage point at Mariposa (currently working with approximately 24 companies and 70+ leaders), the primary problem in the RTO hybrid is “managing by exception.” This could be related to everything from how many days in the office to traveling to offsites to mask-wearing (and a host of other new policies).

For example, if your company has instituted a mandatory 3/2 hybrid (three days in the office, two at home), and you have a team member who moved away during the pandemic, what do you do? This situation came up with one of our clients recently. The leader — a senior director at a 1500-person tech firm — wasn’t sure what to do with a top performer who had permanently moved 1000 miles away in the early part of the pandemic. She didn’t want to lose the employee, so she granted an exception to the company policy. The leader made the decision based on a lot of communication with her team member — to understand their situation — and she looked at all the possible angles. The leader was definitely concerned about flight risk (because her team member could easily go work for another remote-only company — even a competitor). However, in the end, it wasn’t just about the flight risk. By taking ample time to learn about the employee’s circumstances at home, the leader gained a deeper understanding and more empathy, so ultimately, the decision wasn’t that hard to make. This senior director is not alone in trying to solve for these types of dilemmas. (In fact, her situation is so typical that “remote-only” companies are starting to capitalize on this status as a competitive advantage.) We have all seen the headlines about the protesting at large tech companies (e.g., company wants 3,4,5 days in the office; employees want less). Now multiply that by every tech company. Wow. Each tech company has its own RTO hybrid policies. And bosses on every level are going to be bombarded with exceptions to the policies (e.g., company wants 3 days in the office; employees want 0,1,2). There aren’t scalable solutions here; in fact, by its nature, “manage by exception” IS one person at a time. Thus, in anticipation of this messiness, we have outlined some questions you can ask yourself when you’re working with your team(s):

- What are your initial criteria for granting an exception? While performance most likely is one of the criteria, what other criteria are you considering? (Their home life circumstances, their value to team, etc.)
- What is your opinion of the RTO policies? How might your views be affecting how you’ll be granting exceptions?
- What is your relationship with the person you’re granting the exception to? Are you granting exceptions to people you know better and trust more? In other words, check yourself on favoring people you know better.
- How can you be the most flexible and still hold to the company policies?

Expect the unexpected, continue to hone and experiment, and do the best you can to discern the optimal solution for that day or that situation, person, or team.

THREE: Do self-care and help others do it, too.

All through the pandemic, in our coaching work, we have supported leaders in many areas of skill and design; and self-care and well-being have been a central focus. In the initial stages of the pandemic, we helped clients design boundaries around what-was-work-and-what-was-home — everything from “Zoom Room” logistics to exercise routines to how to hide out from one’s two-year-old. More than anything we focused on helping clients model what Tony Schwartz so aptly calls “manage your energy, not your time.” Now, 18 months later, we have not changed our tune. We still think self-care is the single most important act you can do right now for yourself, and it’s a twofer: Modeling self-care is the single most important leaderly act you can do for your team or organization’s culture.

One, as we move into the next pandemic transition phase, what are the self-care routines you will want to keep that have served you well during the pandemic?

- Are you getting outside every day, for example, and if so, if you’re continuing with WFA, how can you increase that outside time? If you’re going to a RTO hybrid, how can you keep your commitment to outside time (no matter what!)?
- What other exercise routines will you keep and add to?
- What about your nutrition?
- Your sleep?
- Your meditation and/or alone time?

Two, what are some rituals you would like to add now that being social is a thing, again? For example:

- How will you socialize at work?
- When and where will you travel for work and for fun?
- What networking events will you do?
- How will you deal with some of the awkwardness of greetings, leavings, and lingerings? (A colleague said to us the other day that he went to a networking event, and he found himself not knowing what to do with his hands; he had to think about it way too much. While it was so welcomed to get out there, he said, it was super awkward, too. This, too, shall pass…with practice.)
- How will you see your in-work and out-of-work friends regularly? And could you up your game in keeping it real?

Three, how will you encourage others to focus on their self-care and well-being? One way is by making it a standing agenda item in your team meetings by asking: How do you rate your well-being on a scale of 1-10 today? And what could you do to up it a notch the rest of the day? Another way to encourage your team members’ self-care is by matching up team members with each other as support partners or buddies. Ask that they meet up once a week for 20-30 minutes to ask each other how they’re meeting their self-care goals.

Finally, hopefully, it goes without saying, that you, as a leader, need support, too. Please be gentle with yourself and ask for the support you need.

Last week, one of my favorite people, Steve Cadigan, happened to be in Maui at the same time as I, and we took a walk on Kama’ole I, my favorite beach. He asked me: “Sue, how are you doing, really?” I thanked him for asking and said: “Well, the pandemic has kicked my ass, no question about it, and I don’t think I will ever be the same. And…I have gotten through it, thanks to being outside like we are now in this glorious place…and, well, the Giants’ winning ways have helped my spirits immensely.” We both laughed out loud. All kidding aside, I got through the pandemic and will continue to “keep it real” for one primary reason: I ask for support. For example, I have worked with both an executive coach and a therapist on-and-off over the past 25 years; during the pandemic, I have upped this to every week without fail. I have sought out professionals for my teenager to support him through distance learning and to help me support him as well. I have regularly connected with my friends for their support and to get us outside so none of us get too isolated. I initiated and still facilitate two Zoom support groups (one with my best friends which meets Monday nights; and one with executive coaches across the U.S., which meets every other Wednesday morning). My weekly calls with my business partner, Tawny Lees (another one of my favorite people), have been focused on our respective well-being as much (or more) as our strategy and operational agenda items. And Tawny and I shifted the Mariposa team weekly Zoom meetings so we could spend more time on individual and collective well-being, including helping each other through continued uncertainty. In this essay, I have asked you to take the opportunity now, in this next pandemic transition phase, to refresh your conversations with your teams — to connect, to flex, and to model self-care. I can ask (and hopefully, inspire) you to do these things because I am on the same journey to do these things, myself.

My best to you as we all navigate this new world. I welcome your comments and ideas.

Thank You’s

I want to acknowledge the Mariposa Leadership team, all of whom are partners in these white paper endeavors. We try to practice what we preach in giving each other constant feedback and in trying new things (ad nauseam). Special thanks to Tawny Lees and Allison Adams for their edits and insights. And we owe all of this to the Mariposa clients. Their ideas, practices, and successes are woven throughout these pages.

About the Author

Susan J. Bethanis, Ed.D., is the Founder/CEO of Mariposa Leadership, Inc., a 13-person San Francisco-based firm that provides executive coaching and design thinking to tech and biotech leaders. Sue’s book, Leadership Chronicles of a Corporate Sage, is a fly-on-the-wall account of real conversations between a coach and an executive. Sue received her Doctorate in Education at USF, specializing in Organizational Leadership; her dissertation looked at the interdependence between language and change in organization culture. She received her Master’s Degree in Education from Stanford, specializing in Instructional Design. Sue also has a certification in Design Thinking from Stanford’s d.School. Sue lives in San Francisco and Maui with her 15-year-old entrepreneurial teen, Max. When she’s not coaching, Sue’s playing tennis, pickleball, and (attempts) golf; and she makes photographs all over the world. Contact her at 415-265-3142, sueb@mariposaleadership.com. Follow her at @suebethanis on Twitter and Instagram.

About Mariposa

For 25 years, Mariposa has been offering leadership coaching and consulting to tech leaders in both 1-1 and group formats. Mariposa’s recent clients include AppFolio, AWS, Gilead, Honor, Intel, Nvidia, PayPal, Peloton, Tapestry, Twitch, Theravance, Zuora, and Zynga. Leaders are turning to Mariposa’s executive coaches to help pivot, plan, and perform through this uncertainty. For more information, visit us at www.mariposaleadership.com. Download the PDF here

July 27th, 2021|Categories: Blog, Culture, Leadership, Mariposa Articles|Tags: company culture, design thinking, effective leadership, executive coaching, executive leadership coaching, HR Leadership, Mariposa Leadership, sue bethanis|

May 20, 2021 / Articles We Like / Blog / Culture / Stress / Work-Life Integration

Alleviating Workplace Stress

Even as the pandemic “eases up,” many of our executive coaching clients and HR partners are still under a lot of stress, pressure, and sometimes even heavier workloads as they plan for their company’s next phase of hybrid work. We have various ways we help them stay resilient, and found this article by Dr. Alice Boyes, author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit to be particularly useful. We hope you will too. Here are some snippets of the article. To read the article in its entirety you can find it here.

“Five Mistakes We Make When We Are Overwhelmed”

Summary. When we’re overwhelmed during busy and challenging times, the way we react can actually make things worse. By being aware of the five common patterns overwhelmed people tend to fall into, you can make things easier on yourself and those around you. First, stop waiting for the opportune moment and actually take the time to do the things you know will help you. Second, make use of your unconscious mind. Third, replace your self-criticism with compassionate self-talk. Fourth, consider your values and make sure they’re the right fit for the situation. Finally, don’t miss opportunities to fill your emotional cup.

When you feel overwhelmed, you may react in ways that not only don’t help the situation but that even make it worse. Maybe you’re oblivious to these patterns, or you know what they are but struggle to do anything about them.

The following are five common self-sabotaging mistakes overwhelmed people tend to make. There are practical solutions for each that will help you feel like you’re on top of things and do a better job of navigating your most important tasks and solving problems.

1. You think you don’t have time for actions that would help you.

People often have great ideas about things that would help them feel better and more in control — for example, hiring someone to help around the house, practicing self-care, seeing a therapist, taking a vacation, or organizing a game night with friends. However, they dismiss them because they think they’re too busy or that it’s not the right time, waiting to take those actions until a more ideal moment that typically never arrives.

2. You don’t utilize your unconscious mind enough.

Focus isn’t the only way to get things done. Your unconscious mind is great at problem-solving, too.

When I go for a walk, my mind wanders. I don’t aim to walk mindfully; rather, I let my mind drift without directing it too much. When I do this, it invariably meanders to work, but not in an unpleasant way. Solutions to problems magically emerge, and what I should prioritize becomes clearer without effort.

3. You interpret feeling overwhelmed as a weakness.

Lots of times, we feel overwhelmed simply because we need to do a task we’re not very familiar with, or because a task is high stakes and we want to do a superb job of it. By itself, this isn’t necessarily a problem. We can often work through the task despite those overwhelmed feelings.

However, sometimes we get self-critical about the very fact that we feel overwhelmed. We think: “I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed by this. It’s not that hard. I should be able to handle it without it stressing out.” When you’re self-critical, you become more likely to procrastinate, because not only does the task trigger feelings of overwhelm, it also triggers shame or anxiety about having those feelings.

4. You default to your dominant approaches and defenses.

When we get stressed out, we tend to get a bit more rigid. Because we have less cognitive and emotional bandwidth to consider other options, we become less flexible about adapting to the demands of the situation and default to our dominant ways of handling things.

5. You withdraw from your supports.

If you feel overwhelmed, you’ve probably got limited emotional energy. This can lead to important changes in your behavior and emotional availability. They can be subtle — maybe you usually give your child a long hug when they come to you, but instead, you now give them a quick perfunctory squeeze while still thinking about other things, then get back to whatever you were doing.

By being aware of the five patterns outlined here, you can make getting through busy and challenging times easier on yourself and those around you. They’re understandable patterns to fall into — and not a reason for you to be self-critical. Know what the traps are and make easy, small changes to overcome them.

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As always, would love to hear your thoughts! Reach out to us with comments, questions and if interested in our help, check out our latest offerings tailored to today’s landscape: Navigating the New Normal.

May 20th, 2021|Categories: Articles We Like, Blog, Culture, Stress / Work-Life Integration|Tags: articles we like, company culture, corporate culture, executive leadership coach, HBR, stress, workplace culture|

March 31, 2021 / Articles We Like / Blog / Leadership

IT Leadership Lessons Learned During Covid

As the corporate focus shifts from response to repair now that the Covid 19 vaccine is becoming more available, leaders look to lessons they learned and prepare for what’s next. In this article by Clint Boulton for CIO Magazine, a publication about and for IT Leaders, Clint speaks with 7 IT leaders from companies including, HP, RSM International, Johnson Controls, and McAfee to hear from them what the past 12 months have taught them and what that means for their business. Here are a summary and snippet. You can read the article in its entirety here.

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The World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 outbreak a global pandemic on March 11, 2020, and soon after IT leaders rushed to mitigate the impact on their businesses, marshaling teams to work remotely.

CIOs boosted infrastructure capacity, shipped laptops to residences, and migrated applications small and large to software-as-a-service (SaaS) applications and cloud software. Eighty-two percent of CIOs surveyed say they have implemented new technologies and IT strategies during the pandemic, according to IDG’s 2021 State of the CIO survey.

Beyond implementing new technologies at scale, CIOs embraced the mental-health hurdles associated with managing remote teams whose work-life balance has been disrupted.

“Like most organizations, the pandemic took us by surprise,” says Paul Herring, global chief innovation officer of accounting firm RSM International. “We had to adjust quickly.”

Here IT leaders reflect on what they learned from a year of leading teams during the pandemic, as well as how work will likely change going forward.

(more…)

March 31st, 2021|Categories: Articles We Like, Blog, Leadership|Tags: articles we like, covid-19, executive leadership coaching, it leadership, leadership, leadership coaching, leading remotely, workplace culture|

March 28, 2021 / Articles We Like / Blog / HR / Talent Management

Talent Management and Post-Pandemic Rules

As executive coaches working with high-tech leaders in the San Francisco Bay Area we hear many opinions, ideas, and theories about the post-pandemic work world, especially as it relates to a notion of “new normal”.

As such, I wanted to share this particular article, “The Post-Pandemic Rules of Talent Management”, published in Harvard Business Review. Here, writers Becky Frankiewicz and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic clearly outline data-based trends and focuses on two critical areas – building culture outside of the office and the ever-more-challenging work-life integration. The article, originally published early in the pandemic considers an unforeseeable physical return to the office.

At the time of publication, the idea of a completely remote workforce felt abrupt, unsettling, out of control, and abnormal. Today, an entire team working remotely or hybrid no longer feels unthinkable. It’s become a reality and potentially an incredibly productive strategy.

Now that the talent pool can be fished from virtually anywhere leaders recognize the potential skills, experience, and capabilities they can access, from anywhere. And, thanks to technology, the tools for managing remote talent are easily and effectively accessible. They can remove the idea of costly employee relocation from the hiring process.

But what about workplace culture? Is it possible to build a culture when only half or even no employees step foot in the office?

See how HBR breaks down Covid 19’s culture correction.

Here’s a snippet:

At the onset of the Covid-19 crisis, talent literally left the building, and we’re now beginning to realize that in many places, it is unlikely to come back. Technology is moving humanity away from the office and back into homes across our nation every day. We are building culture outside of buildings, with work that supports life on a more even playing field, with talent that can come from anywhere. As we look to the future, it’s time to unleash this new way of working for the long-term, with a focus on well-being, equality, and productivity that can work for both employers and employees long after this crisis ends. It’s time to embrace the truly global talent pool that is available to drive growth, regardless of where people call home.

Over the past decades, rapid digital transformation has enabled organizations to completely reimagine the way they work and manage talent. From reliable video conferencing platforms to digital collaboration software, to ubiquitous cloud-based connectivity, and a data-centric approach to strategic decision-making powered by the synergy between artificial and human intelligence, an imaginary worker from the 1950s would surely marvel at the current landscape of work as if they were in a Black Mirror episode.

Find the article in its entirety here: “The Post-Pandemic Rules of Talent Management,” by Becky Frankiewicz and Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic in HBR.

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Would you like assistance navigating your company’s new normal post-Covid 19? Take a look at our executive leadership coaching programs for both one on one coaching and group workshops.

See how we can help you build an unstoppable, highly competitive, and innovative corporate culture

March 28th, 2021|Categories: Articles We Like, Blog, HR / Talent Management|Tags: articles we like, corporate culture, executive leadership coaching, HBR, leadership, leadership coaching, post pandemic, talent management, work-life balance|

January 6, 2021 / Articles We Like / Blog / Leadership

Self-Compassion Makes a Better Leader

Effective executive leadership and corporate culture depend on mental clarity, emotional balance, and vision to navigate unpredictable challenges, especially in times of uncertainty and disruption. Do you know what else it requires? A fair dose of self TLC. HR leaders and executives work carefully to practice compassion for employees and build a strong company culture around respect, care, and compassion. But executives too often forget to practice compassion on themself. See how this Harvard Business Review article, Self-Compassion Will Make You a Better Leader, by Rich Fernandez and Steph Stern, explains how leaders cultivate this critical skill and why it’s critical now more than ever.

Here’s a snippet:

When times are tough and you’re faced with hard decisions, it’s easy to get paralyzed by self-doubt and fear. To move to clarity and action, leaders need self-compassion. Research shows that it increases your levels of emotional intelligence, resilience, integrity, and makes you more compassionate toward others, all of which improves your effectiveness as a leader. The authors offer several exercises for cultivating this skill, from short daily practices to tactics that help you shift your mindset.

It’s understandable for leaders to get caught up in fear, doubt, and criticism when facing critical business decisions that will have a major impact on lives and livelihoods. But what’s needed in times of uncertainty and disruption is mental clarity, emotional balance, fortitude, and vision. To move from self-doubt and paralysis to clarity and action, you need an often-misunderstood skill: self-compassion. Based on our experience training tens of thousands of leaders on the role of self-compassion in emotional intelligence and effective leadership, we’d like to share some key tips and techniques for cultivating this critical skill.

You can read the full article here

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Navigating the New Normal – We are living in unprecedented times. Leaders are turning to Mariposa’s executive coaches to help pivot, plan, and perform in this disruptive business climate. Our deep expertise as listeners and change partners supports you and your teams. Learn more.

January 6th, 2021|Categories: Articles We Like, Blog, Leadership|Tags: articles we like, business leadership, corporate culture, effective leadership, executive leadership coach, executive team coaching, HBR|

April 3, 2020 / Blog / Mariposa Articles / Stress / Work-Life Integration

Working Parents + Shelter-in-Place. Mission Impossible?

by Tawny Lees, COO and Executive Coach, tawny@mariposaleadership.com

As I’ve been talking with and coaching clients this week, the reality of long-term school closures and shelter-in-place orders seems to be hitting working parents the hardest.

It can feel impossible for two-parent homes where both partners work from home — and gets even harder when one parent works outside of the home, for single parents, when kids have special needs, or if elder care is thrown into the mix.

Three main ideas here, curated from what I’m hearing, reading, and experiencing myself as a working parent:

Set Expectations

Get radically real about short-term (now to 3 months) expectations of yourself:

As a professional. Anyone responsible for kids at home is just not going to be as productive and/or available as usual. It’s okay. This is an unprecedented situation in our lifetimes; as a leader, you and your team need to figure out how to work through it together. Shift the mindset from “I/we can’t get this all done” to “here’s what I/we can get done.”

Assess your and your team’s current deliverables, initiatives, and capabilities.
Reset short-term priorities and deadlines.
Re-assign/share the workload across the team.
Establish preferred times for meetings or availability for real-time interaction. (E.g. meetings only between 9-12 and 2-5.)

Proactively align on all the above with everyone who needs to know – cross-functional partners, customers, suppliers, boss, etc.

As a working parent. You will not be able to offer the same level of time, attention, and expertise that your children would normally receive from teachers, caregivers, etc. during this time. It’s okay. Do your best, they will survive. Shift your mindset from “I’m being a bad parent” or “my kids are missing out on XYZ” to “we will get through this and learn previously unimagined lessons about life.”

Set Structure

Involve everyone and make a family work plan:

Figure out a schedule and division of labor that works. For all. You’d be surprised that even young kids can contribute to brainstorming ideas and making a plan. (Whip out some flip charts or post-it notes – they’ll love it!) And by involving them, they tend to be more enthusiastic about sticking with it. Things to consider:

Can you and your partner or older kids work in “shifts” to take care of younger kids?
Can you enlist or employ friends, family, babysitters, tutors to virtually engage your kids on a regular schedule that you could rely on? Via video, they could talk, read, play games, sing, do dances, do schoolwork, etc.
What are the most engaging/reliable activities that kids can do with little to no supervision? (e.g. movies, online gaming, schoolwork.) Schedule those activities during important work time. They will be getting more screen time; get over it.
What work can you do while sitting near/with them? (e.g. status reports or emails at the kitchen table while they do schoolwork and ask an occasional question.)
As you prioritize your precious time, what is the best way for you to spend the free time you’ll have with the kids? Having fun? Relaxing? Getting outside? How do you want to “be” during that time?
What are your rules for the time when you need to be uninterrupted? (e.g. door is closed, don’t knock.) How can you reward them for sticking to the rules? (e.g. an enthusiastic high-five, cuddling and reading for 15 minutes, going outside to play.)

Make sure everyone in the family understands the schedule/plan and experiment! Try it for a week and then revisit – What worked? What didn’t? What to try next?

Recharge

You’ll need energy to pull off this mission:

We all know the metaphors – “put your oxygen mask on first,” “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” etc. Well, they are true. Especially now.

You will need to get creative, and insistent, about making sure you are getting adequate sleep and time to relax and recharge.
Include a favorite activity in your plan, make a pact with someone, do what’s needed to make it happen.
Take time off from work, use the weekend as a weekend (it’s still there, even though days seem to be blurring together.)
Give yourself some perspective – look ahead 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months, and 10 years from now. How will you feel then, how will you look back on what is happening now?

You are not alone! We are all in this together. We would love to hear what’s working for you so we can help share information with others. Often, the first question our clients ask us in a session is: “What are your other clients doing about WFH?” Let’s spread the best practices.

To download a PDF of this article, click here.

April 3rd, 2020|Categories: Blog, Mariposa Articles, Stress / Work-Life Integration|Tags: corporate culture, covid-19, executive coaching, leadership, leadership coaching, work-life balance, working from home, working parents|

April 2, 2020 / Articles We Like / Blog / Stress / Work-Life Integration

Four Tips to Navigate Working from Home

by Anne Loehr, Executive Coach, anne@mariposaleadership.com

I talk for a living, whether it’s through keynotes, employee training, executive coaching, human capital consulting, writing articles, or just a chat with a client. I’m lucky enough to have clients from a variety of industries and sectors, giving me a wide view of how organizations are handling similar situations. This week alone I had the honor of chatting with people from large consulting firms, start-ups, the Federal government, tech firms, mid-size companies, biopharma organizations, large school systems, manufacturing firms, real estate industry leaders, and HR professionals. I learned a lot of best practices for navigating the Covid-19 work from home (WFH) situation and I’d like to share those with you here.

Schedule daily white space

Someone said to me, “It’s just telework. It’s not a big deal.” Wrong. It’s not just telework and it is a big deal. Why? Because the old paradigm of telework was that you worked from home 1-2 days/week, usually while others in your home were at work and/or school. Now everyone is working and learning under one roof, which adds complexity to the situation. I have it fairly easy; our high school daughter can self-manage her day. However, I have one client who has 3 children under the age of 5 at home while both he and his wife are trying to work. Ouch! That’s a tough situation!

So what are organizations doing to manage this? One best practice is to create intentional white space and schedule set times for team calls. One firm only holds calls from 8:30 am-noon and then 2-5 pm, local time. This allows people to have a midday break to attend to their own personal needs or the needs of those who live with them.

Learn together

It’s easy to disengage on employee development right now. I’ve heard “Training and development is a non-essential, so we’re cutting the live employee training we had planned”. I get it; financial stability and cash flow is vital right now. However, don’t forget about your teams who want to feel a sense of normalcy. So instead of offering a live employee development training, conduct a 60-minute virtual ‘lunch and learn’ on living through change or a 45-minute webinar about stress management instead. It’s easy to do and shows the teams that you are still there for them.

Lempathy

It’s easy to lose focus when WFH, so set a clear focus on short-term goals and how the goals align with the organizational mission. Create a 2-minute podcast or video to remind your team what you’re working on and use shared docs to create accountability.

It’s also easy to tilt toward excessive empathy, such as “It’s OK that Biva didn’t achieve his tasks today. He has 4 kids at home.” Giving a pass every once in a while shows flexibility; excessive empathy breeds missed deadlines. So use ‘both/and’ instead; in other words, try “Wow! Having four kids at home while working is hard. How can you achieve the biggest deadline today and have the kids home? What’s the first step? Second step?” Bottom line: show you care AND that goals still need to be completed. One of my coaching clients calls this “lempathy”: leading with empathy. It works for him; see if it works for you.

Focus on self-care

Stress manifests in different ways, for different reasons. In general, there are three pillars of health: physical, mental, and emotional. Take a self-assessment and ask yourself how you’re doing on:

Physical: Maintaining the nutrition, sleep and exercise that your body needs
Mental: Focusing on the task at hand
Emotional: Self-regulating your emotions appropriately with those around you

Whatever you do to manage your WFH situation, remember to keep it fun! People want to feel connected; they are looking for the water cooler experience, where they can just have a fun chat for a few minutes with each other. So set this up with virtual coffee chats, happy hours, walks, exercise classes, and even hobby times (knitting anyone?). One company in Boston creates daily entertainment videos for the employee’s children to watch while the parent is working. Another organization spreads smiles via Skype. What will work for you?

I’d love to hear how you are navigating your work from home in these stressful times. What is working for you and what is not? Let’s share experiences. Send me an email or contact us on Twitter.

April 2nd, 2020|Categories: Articles We Like, Blog, Stress / Work-Life Integration|Tags: coaching, coaching tips, covid-19, empathy, executive coaching, executive leadership, self-care, work-life balance, working from home, workplace culture|

March 23, 2020 / Blog / Mariposa Articles

Six Keys to Leading in Crisis

by Barbara Baill, Executive Coach, barbara@mariposaleadership.com

Leaders have an increased responsibility to lead during times of crisis and this current COVID-19 crisis is certainly one of those times. We have identified 6 C’s as keys to demonstrate your leadership today.

Calm

In any crisis, we look to our leaders for signals that we can either, get through this, or on the other hand, that it’s time to panic (the boat is going down). It’s important, as leaders, that we project a sense of CALM – that we can get through this. This can have a huge positive impact on our teams as we focus on addressing the challenges we will face whether they are personal (how do I make working from home work for me) or business (how do we continue to produce, generate revenue, keep our business alive) in this time of crisis.

Connect

Connecting to your team is more critical than ever! Ensure that you are increasing both the frequency and amount of information you communicate to your team. Here are some ideas:

5 minute daily huddles to check in with everyone
Virtual lunches
Slack or text channels that are focused on ideas for working at home with children, surviving social isolation, funny things that happen while WFH
Increase 1:1s, even for short check-ins at the beginning and end of each week
Increase overall business updates, new strategies, redirection of projects, etc.

It’s also critical that you are connecting with your peers and maintaining important relationships across the organization. We are all in this together. Reach out to your peers and colleagues to support them, share ideas for managing in this new environment, for creative ways to socialize where being isolated.

Clarify

Ensure that you take this opportunity to clarify the goals for each of your people. Are they clear on what needs to be accomplished by when? What, if anything, has changed in terms of what they are expected to delivery by when? It’s also an opportunity for you to take the time and space to reflect on your team’s mission and priorities. How might they need to change in this crisis? Is there an opportunity to refocus and/or reprioritize to increase your team’s impact?

Create

Crises are a time for creativity and redesign. Look for opportunities to be creative with your team. Hold a Zoom meeting with the team and use the Chat function to brainstorm ideas, whether about current projects or coping with the “shelter-in-place” challenges. Here is our Design Thinking approach to guide you (all practices can be adapted to videoconferencing formats).

Coach

It’s important to coach your directs, but during a crisis, it is even more imperative. Use this opportunity to reach out and coach your people. We have developed In-the-Moment Coaching that is highlighted by the RAR Model (Rapport, Assess, Reframe). Giving feedback and problem-solving with your team is a daily practice, and it’s also a great time to help each member of your team learn and develop.

Care

Most importantly, it is THE moment to show that you CARE personally about each member of the team. In your 1:1s, ask how they are coping with the crisis, what is most challenging for them, what are their concerns/worries. You don’t have to have all the answers, you just need to listen and ask if there is anything they need from you. This demonstrates that you care about them personally. As the crisis continues, we all need support. Reaching out proactively to your team, your colleagues, your customers is a key leadership role for you now. This is about leading with your heart, not leading with your head. Heart-based leadership breeds loyalty and commitment and is one of the most powerful leadership tools we all possess.

Finally, it’s also important that you practice SELF-CARE. As a leader, the demands on you escalate in crisis. You have your own worries, challenges and concerns. Ensure that you are taking time to rest, regenerate, and exercise. Find a friend, colleague, family member to co-support each other. You can only be your best leader if you are taking care of yourself.

To download a PDF of this article, click here.

March 23rd, 2020|Categories: Blog, Mariposa Articles|Tags: care, communication, covid-19, design thinking, executive coaching, In-The-Moment Coaching, self-care|

March 16, 2020 / Blog / Mariposa Articles

The New Normal: We Ain’t Going Back Now

by Sue Bethanis, CEO/Founder of Mariposa, sueb@mariposaleadership.com, @suebethanis

Whoa, last week was the strangest week I have experienced. Ever.

How are you holding up? Perhaps stop for a minute, and check in with yourself: How AM I actually holding up? You probably haven’t had a chance to catch your breath from the horror of last week, and the ongoingness of the weekend. And, well, today, has unfolded with the biggest stock market drop ever, and a Bay Area “Shelter-in-Place” Order.

In the last week, you probably went to the store(s) and stocked up; you probably have your (tiny) workspace set up in your home; your kids are now out of school and you’re getting them set up in their (really tiny) workspaces; and I am hearing from some of you, you’re already starting to feel isolated (and it’s only been a week!)

You are not alone, for sure. The collective “we are all in this together” feeling might help ease some of the anxiety. That’s the good news. The not so good news — what I am also hearing and sensing — is that many work colleagues and clients believe this is a three-week thing; we can tolerate this for three weeks, can’t we? My guess is this is more likely a three-month thing, which would look like: kids out of the school the rest of the semester, which means they go back in September; WFH will be extended as mandatory by most, if not all, businesses or local government until the end of May; and we continue to be plagued with: when is this going to end?

What if it doesn’t end, per se? What if we reframe the situation we are now all facing to create routines that will help us get through this transition period that will also help us on the other side? I think it behooves us to seek opportunity and to prepare for the New Normal.

What is that new stuff? Things you can start now, that you will be doing more of in the New Normal. The transition might be three weeks, but the New Normal is here to stay.

Here are some ideas:

Birdwatch, mostly alone. The Bay Area “Shelter-in-Place” Order, under the special cases questions section, actually encourages people to get outside — take a walk or run, go to a park — to avoid being cooped up which may amplify your anxiety. It’s good for well being, the notes say, with the very important caveat to practice social distancing — stay 6 feet away from others. And, by the way, don’t forget to watch and listen for the birds.

Exercise at home. You have created your workspace already; please add a (tiny) place to exercise, and to get in some resistance work. Have Amazon send you two 15 or 20 pound weights, along with some resistance bands. Even 10-15 minutes a day of resistance will help. Remember, you’re moving a lot less than normal. And creating specific time for exercise is important for burning calories and lowering stress.

Meditate. I have talked about the importance of meditation in my last two posts here and here. Being mindful of your anxiety and stress level is key to getting through this transition period and in the New Normal.

Set boundaries. For those of us who have been doing WFH for years, the single most important practice is setting boundaries — for when you work and when you don’t, and for how much you and your other family members are on technology. I suggest setting guidelines or rules together and sticking to them as a family.

Socialize. Isolation is already setting in. Consider scheduling a video conference or FT call with a different friend every day (i.e., it’s Tuesday, so I get to chat with my friend Elizabeth today). Start a group video conference chat with several buddies. I am starting a Zoom poker and Scotch group with my friends. Who’s in?

To download a PDF of this article, click here.

March 16th, 2020|Categories: Blog, Mariposa Articles|Tags: coronavirus, covid-19, meditation, new normal, reframe, remote workers, social distancing, video conferencing|

March 9, 2020 / Blog / Mariposa Articles

Working from Home: The Opportunity

by Sue Bethanis, CEO/Founder of Mariposa, sueb@mariposaleadership.com, @suebethanis

If you’re a knowledge worker living in the Bay Area and are not already working from home (WFH) by choice or by company policy, my guess is you soon will be. I suspect we will be following Seattle’s lead this week or next.

I have been working from home for 24 years as an Executive Coach, and I work with tech leaders who have made the transition to WFH in the past. Am working from home today, in fact, keeping tabs on my sick teen (he’s without-a-fever, but keeping him home for public health reasons).

Last Tuesday, I “penned” an article on “How to Be Leaderly in Utter Uncertainty.” Today, I am addressing WHAT AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO WORK FROM HOME. The Economist addresses the business opportunity of WFH here. The WSJ addresses the practical things of WFH, like your tech set up, here.

I am looking at a different opportunity: what you can do with that hour (or two) you just got back from no commuting and not having to sprint from meeting to meeting. And you’re not traveling, so you’re getting that time back, too. So, you really do have more time on your hands. I imagine you’re spending time getting set up and getting used to the idea that you’re using your dining room table or old card table as your workstation.

Once you have your set up, what are you going to do with that extra hour?

Three Ideas: Self-care, Family, Strategic Thinking

Self-care: meditation and exercise

If there is ever a time to practice meditation, now is the time. There is no question our collective anxiety is heightened because of COVID-19, the economy, uncertainty; and our individual anxiety is increased as well. Meditation and mindful breathing can calm us. Perhaps you have let your meditation practice go; if so, start it up again with 10 minutes in the morning. If you have never had a meditation practice, perhaps it’s time to start one up. One way to start is through repeating a mantra. I have used this practice for 30 years; it has never gotten old.

Sit in a quiet place with your feet on the floor.

Focus on your breath so that you can feel it go in and out of your nose.

Repeat this mantra:

May I be happy,
May I be safe,
May I be healthy,
May I live with ease,
May I be free.

Next, choose a person you’re closely connected with. Say his/her name in your mantra. You may want to choose a different person each day or repeat the mantra a couple of times in a day with various people:

May (name) be happy,
May ____ be safe,
May ____ be healthy,
May ____ live with ease,
May ____ be free.

Family: walking and connecting

You can create a “two-fer” opportunity if you walk with one of your family members or friends in the morning or as a break in the late afternoon. What an incredible opportunity we have that we get to see our family members more. Yes, I know – especially if you have kids – you’re going to have to create some boundaries for your work space and time; however, use this opportunity to put attention on your family members that you haven’t been able to do the past year, 5 years, 10 years…you know what I am talking about. Connect with them in a way you haven’t been able to in the past.

Strategy/Design: (Yes, you have been putting this off)

Once you get into your daily routine of WFH, think about that hour you have because you’re not sitting in your car. You have been putting off doing strategy work. And whatever strategic or vision documents you do have, they might need to be revised based on the new normal – the business climate took a huge detour last week, and today, March 9th, the DOW dropped 2000 points.

Re-looking at your business proposition, product, or market(s) might make some sense! So, what new scenario planning should you do? What approach could you take? For the past 10 years, I have used a Design Thinking approach with my company, Mariposa Leadership, and have worked with many execs and their teams using this approach. This requires looking at the market in a different way and bringing in your customers to solve problems WITH you. This Design Thinking method is outlined here. Typically, these types of journeys are done in person. Now, you have the time to do these types of brainstorming meetings via videoconferencing. What a cool opportunity!

To download a PDF of this article, click here.

March 9th, 2020|Categories: Blog, Mariposa Articles|Tags: anxiety, covid-19, design thinking, executive coaching, family, meditation, mindfulness, self-care, strategic thinking|

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